As I was reading Darren Rowse’s post about a loving fan that virtually attacked him at Blogworld, I realized there’s nothing wrong with having heroes.

I’ll tell you right now that I practically stalk Chris Brogan (he even said so in my signed copy of Trust Agents). I’d drive half a day or fly halfway across the country to hear him speak. Is it because he’s a web celebrity? Because he has 100,000 followers? Because he’s a “social media expert”? No, it’s because he went out of his way to be a friend to me, for no other reason than he is a good person who truly wants to help people.

I feel the same about Darren Rowse, Gary Vaynerchuk, Jason Falls, Ted Murphy and many others. I’d rather hang out with these guys than a superstar celebrity any day of the week.

I’d drive my car coast to coast to be able to spend a few hours with Stephen Covey. His philosophy and book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” literally changed the course of my life. I read his book over ten years ago when I was 18, and it completely changed my outlook on life and priorities.

It’s not just people in this industry either… My biggest hero of all time was my grandfather. When I was a young boy I spent the summers with him and worked in his body shop for $1/day (which wasn’t even decent money way back then!). He was so much more concerned with helping people than with making money. I vividly remember one time when a single mother wrecked her car–her only method of transportation. She didn’t have the money to repair the car, so my grandfather paid for the parts and fixed her car. Free of charge. He told her she could pay him back when she had the money (which he never expected, he just didn’t want her to feel like she was getting a hand-out). I admire his strength of character, his compassion. He was never rich or famous… but he was my hero.

Don’t idolize people because they pretend on camera for a living. Don’t idolize singers because they’re the next pop superstar. Don’t idolize people because they’re popular or rich, idolize them because they help people or do something worthwhile with their life. If you’re going to admire someone, if you’re going to have a hero, make sure you pick them for the right reasons.

I’m also looking forward to Sunday, where we all get a free pass to SeaWorld for the day. I can’t wait, because I’m surprising my son… Sunday happens to also be his 4th birthday and I’m taking him (and the rest of the family) to SeaWorld.

The idea behind Trust Agents started with Trust Economies, a free ebook published by Chris and Julien Smith back in March of 2008. If you have not read Trust Economies yet, I highly recommend it as a precursor to Trust Agents. In it, they lay what would eventually become the foundation for Trust Agents… the philosophy that social media marketing is less about “marketing” and more about building real relationships (and the trust that comes with them).

Essentially, Trust Agents is about the rules of relationships (online or off). As Stephen Covey put it in the amazing 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, relationships are like bank accounts. You can make deposits and withdrawals. Deposits are selfless acts you do for others, such as helping a friend move or just complimenting someone on their new haircut. Withdrawals are selfish requests, such as asking for a favor. The consequence of breaking trust, such as missing an appointment without calling, is also a withdrawal (and a big one).

“Emotional bank accounts” might have come from Covey’s book, but the idea is as old as relationships themselves. You can only take out what you put into them.

Chris and Julien take this fundamental principle of relationships and expand on it in Trust Agents. They start the book with a discussion about trust and social capital. Essentially, a trust agent is a person who builds real relationships online, and then leverages them to help others. In return for this, there is a long-term value to the person (or their company). It’s a fundamentally different concept than traditional marketing (even online marketing). Instead of being all about you… your products, your services, your company… it’s all about them. I can see this being a tough concept for companies to understand and see the long-term value… but Chris and Julien do an excellent job at showing the benefits and convincing you that it’s the right way.

The rest of the book outlines a process for becoming a trust agent, and ends with how to manage if (or when) you actually become one. They describe six key principles, each broken into their own chapter:

• Make Your Own Game
• One of Us
• Archimedes Principle
• Agent Zero
• Human Artist
• Build an Army

Chris and Julien outline some tools and even go into a couple of services, but the book is not really about tools or techniques. It’s about principles and relationships.

I don’t see “Trust Agents” as a marketing book, or even a book about social media. It’s a book about relationships. Like Covey’s 7 Habits and other great business books, Trust Agents is a must read for anyone in business. Even if you have no interest in becoming a “trust agent” or Internet celebrity, the fundamental principles in this book will serve you well. It’s a timeless book that you will pull down from the bookshelf every year or two, re-read and remember why it was so important.

I should probably have written a SxSW recap when it was still fresh in my mind, but after being out of the office for more than a week I was swamped. I also came back to a few small changes for the book, which didn’t take long but still added to the overall workflow.

Four of us from Kelsey Advertising & Design trekked down to Austin this year, up from just two last year. It was myself, Brant Kelsey (Principal and owner of Kelsey), Brian Handley (illustrator and web developer), and Roman Alvarado (graphic and web designer). Overall, I would consider South by Southwest to be a big success. I really didn’t feel the conference itself was as energized or had the impact it had on me last year, but the people and parties definitely made up for it. I spent a lot of time just hanging out and meeting people, one on one in small personal settings.

I met a ton of people, and saw a ton of friends and acquaintances from other conferences. Some of the highlites are below… I’m sure I’m forgetting someone (it has been over a month). If we met at SxSW, drop me an email! I probably just didn’t have your card and my memory is aweful.

I spent a lot of time hanging out with Brant Kelsey, Patrick O’Keefe, and James Dasher, especially in between sessions and at lunches. I met up with James, who I knew back in the early days of SitePoint, and ended up hanging with him for a good part of the trip. Patrick introduced me to Wayne Sutton at Mohawk at one of the first parties. Wayne’s a cool guy, and I’m looking forward to seeing him speak at future conferences.

I saw Wendy Piersall of Sparkplugging at a party, and even though we’ve met twice at other conventions, last year at SxSW on the Chitika Beer Bus and again at Blogworld, she still didn’t remember me! It was actually pretty funny, and I don’t think she’ll have as hard of a time remembering me at the next one… I actually think Wendy felt pretty bad about not remembering me. At any rate, I enjoyed talking to Wendy as usual, and look forward to seeing her again at Blogworld in October. I saw Rick Calvert of Blog World Expo at the same party, and also met him at SxSW last year. Rick talked me into going to Blog World Expo last year when I met him, and I was glad he did! I only spoke to him briefly, but look forward to talking to him more at Blog World this year again.

I saw Jason Falls at one of the many parties at Mohawk (a bar in downtown Austin). He threw a small unofficial party for Maker’s Mark. I said hello, but it was nearly impossible to hear due to the loud music. I did run into Jason later in the Blogger Lounge at the conference, and enjoyed talking with him about social media and picked his brain for a few minutes about the best way to “pitch” a blogger. I’m hoping his tips will come in handy as we promote the book in the months to come.

One day at lunch, Ted Murphy, founder of IZEA, tweeted that he was looking to grab some lunch. After a series of tweets and DM’s back and forth, we finally met up with him and Ashley Edwards of IZEA for lunch. We tried two or three different locations (one closed, others packed) and ended up at Buffalo Billiards. Ted’s a really cool guy, and also runs IZEAFest conference, which I’m seriously considering for this year.

After an amazing panel, I spoke to Gary Vaynerchuk who was kind enough to give me a quick 30 second video interview. I still haven’t gotten the video up, though remembering it now I think I’ll go do that… I also met Gary at Blog World Expo where he was keynoting. Gary is an amazing speaker, but he’s a more amazing person. See him on camera? That’s Gary, all the time. I met him in the halls of BWE and walked with him to his keynote. He’s truly one of the most down to earth “superstars” I’ve met, and I wish I had 10% of his DNA. I’d love to be able to stay that positive and always “kill it” as he says.

I almost got through the entire conference without meeting up with Aaron Brazell or Jeremy Wright, two old friends from SitePoint. There are so many different panels and parties, it’s entirely possible to never even be in the same place at the same time. Fortunately, the last day of the conference I ran into both Jeremy and Aaron in the Blogger Lounge. Though it was a hectic day with people in meetings and such, I really enjoyed talking to both Jeremy and Aaron. I was able to pick Jeremy’s brain for a bit about book marketing, a subject he knows well having published Blog Marketing way back in 2005.

Chris Brogan was hanging out at the Pepsi Podcast Lounge one morning and sat down next to me at the bar. I think I met Chris last year at Blog World, but I can’t remember for sure. Anyway, he’s a very approachable guy

I’ve been an author, member and Community Advisor of SitePoint for 8 years now, so when I heard Matt Mickiewicz, the founder of SitePoint, was coming to SxSW I was pretty excited. For some reason, we just couldn’t seem to hook up at the conference. I’d see Matt tweet that he was at one room, and I’d be on the exact opposite side of the convention center. On the last day of the conference, I heard someone talking on a mobile phone… he said “This is Matt with SitePoint.com…” He was sitting right next to me. It couldn’t have worked out better. Matt didn’t have a lot of time, he was running off to a scheduled appointment in about 10 mintues, but we talked for a few minutes and he introduced me to Jason Aiken of 99designs. Matt also interviewed me about my new book coming out in May, published by SitePoint, “The Art & Science of Online Marketing,” co-authored with Shayne Tilley. It was great to finally meet Matt in person.

I almost met Guy Kawasaki. I’ve seen him at several conferences, and he’s a very engaging and entertaining speaker. When we were at the airport waiting on our flight home, Guy was sitting at a terminal just down the way from ours. He was on a phone call when I walked past to grab some lunch, and when I came back he was already boarding the plane. I would’ve loved to have met him, but I’m sure I’ll get a chance at another conference or event. My favorite quote from his keynote, “If you live for the weekends and vacations, your shit is broken!”

In addition to all the great people I met, we also had a few funny or embarrassing, all captured on Twitter for posterity of course! The first full night of parties (which included the Madison and Mohawk) we ended up at Stubs. I don’t remember it all too well, and not because it’s been a month since SxSW. I do remember eating the best smoked wings I’ve ever tasted, which seemed to arrive 30 seconds after we ordered. I also vaguely remember offering to take a photo of two ladies with their camera… and apparently I couldn’t even figure it out because after about 5 tries they just took their camera back. I think Brant may have gotten it on tape, too, but fortunately I haven’t seen the footage.

The next night after a few hours at the Google party, I ventured out alone and ended up at the Pure Volume Lounge. I made it back to the VIP area without a VIP pass, just wandered back not knowing what it was. The second time I tried to walk back I was stopped by a security guard. He was really cool and gave an interesting perspective about how locals perceive SxSW’ers. I did manage to find my way back to the VIP area again, just before someone apparently sprayed a fire extinguisher, ending the party early (at 3:20 AM). I walked about a block before realizing it was really late. Fortunately the cabbies were out in full force, so I made it back to the hotel fast and safe.

Brant rode a mechanical bull at the closing party, which was caught on video! Unfortunately, I’ve been told I can’t post it on YouTube, but it is posted on my Facebook. All you have to do is friend me to see it… The closing party was a pretty good closing to the trip. We had a great time, even though I had a lot of party left in me it’s probably best that I called it quits a little early (i.e. 2 AM). Travel days are no fun.

I was pretty excited about this particular trip to South by Southwest because it couldn’t have come at a better time. With my book being released in May, it was a great chance to talk to people who’ve done it before and get some advice. I’m extremely thankful to everyone that stopped for a few minutes to answer a question or just lend a word of wisdom. I learned so much and met so many great people! We had just a blast, and every day (and night) was an adventure.